Wednesday, July 1, 2009

One day at a time..or should I say one appointment.

I posted earlier about my HSG and that results came back normal, well we finally have the results from my hubby's analysis and it came back abnormal, due to motility. My doctor referred us to a specialist in Kettering and we have that appointment for next week. The specialist thinks after discussing with my doc that the motility issue may be due to Varicoseles, which is fixable..says my doc. I am trying to play out 50 scenarios in my head and what will be the best decision for our future of hubby seems to be the more sensible one and does not want to make any decisions or get all worked up about what little information we have so far(we don't even know the break down of his analysis)until we meet with the specialist...did I mention fertility specialist...there it is, it's out there...that word that I hoped to avoid...I kept thinking and hoping that we were not pregnant because we were trying to hard, and that it just wasn't our time...yet, but it would eventually happen without all these appointments, procedures, and physicians. Of course I can not stay away from the Internet, trying to research anything and everything having to do with infertility, motility, name it and I have probably been there, which may not be a good thing, because I think I am reading to much conflicting information which will just confuse the hell outta me! Hubby also had a blood draw for testosterone and estradiol levels, that are supposed to be faxed to my doc who will then fax them to the specialist, so I guess we will get those results at our consult as well. Can I also say that I am frustrated with the specialist already, we have to pay $150 up front and file all our own insurance claims...and I am sure our insurance will not cover...I am hoping that it is still considered diagnostic, since we have not actually been told what his diagnosis is, in that case they should pay....but now I am sure we will run into paperwork issues because we have to file ridiculous! Oh and of course I am sure like most couple TTC, that are having is a huge factor...we just never prepared for the possibility of infertility costs. I am keeping my fingers crossed that since I know what his number are form his analysis(just don't know what they mean) and that since there was not a zero for motility that means someof his swimmers are motile, which makes me think we have a chance(no matter how small) of getting pregnant regardless of his possible diagnosis. I am holding on to that thought...because it gives me hope! I am sure I will have a better understanding of both lab results once we meet with the specialist and go from there.


DaniKel said...

You know that my heart goes out to you. I hate that you are going through this. I really really hate it.

As for searching the internet - it can be a bad thing, but also a good thing. Conflicting stories and horror stories are the bad. I think knowing all or atleast some of your options when you go in there will be good. And you will be informed. Which is always good. Write stuff down so you will remember the questions that you have for him. And ask them all!

And I know that money is an issue. But I believe that if there is a will there is a way. And you guys will figure it out.

Now that I have hijacked your comments - I leave you with this.

We were watching John Edwards back a few years ago - and he said something that stuck with me. And Kelly told me the other night (after Lindsey's party) that this was the moment that she new for sure without a doubt that she would love Gryfinn and Caelyn (at that time any child that we were to have) as much as she loves Jayk. That even though she did not carry them, and that there is not any biology, that she would love them with all of her heart.

John Edwards said that your child is yours. No matter how your child comes to you, whether through adoption, IVF, donor sperm, donor egg, that child belongs to you. It is not biology that makes up a family - it is love.

And I believe that. Your child is your child. And every road leads to that. Every step that you take leads you toward your child. Follow your path. It will lead you to your baby!

Love you!

(sorry for the hijacking!!)

AJ's mommy said...

It is all very expensive! I hope you guys get some good results and your TTC journey is short.

As far as the internet, it can be a great tool but it can sure scare the heck out of you! When I was pregnant my OB told me to stay off of it!!!!

Good luck to you guys!