One day at a time..or should I say one appointment.

I posted earlier about my HSG and that results came back normal, well we finally have the results from my hubby's analysis and it came back abnormal, due to motility. My doctor referred us to a specialist in Kettering and we have that appointment for next week. The specialist thinks after discussing with my doc that the motility issue may be due to Varicoseles, which is fixable..says my doc. I am trying to play out 50 scenarios in my head and what will be the best decision for our future of TTC...my hubby seems to be the more sensible one and does not want to make any decisions or get all worked up about what little information we have so far(we don't even know the break down of his analysis)until we meet with the specialist...did I mention fertility specialist...there it is, it's out there...that word that I hoped to avoid...I kept thinking and hoping that we were not pregnant because we were trying to hard, and that it just wasn't our time...yet, but it would eventually happen without all these appointments, procedures, and physicians. Of course I can not stay away from the Internet, trying to research anything and everything having to do with infertility, motility, varicoseles...you name it and I have probably been there, which may not be a good thing, because I think I am reading to much conflicting information which will just confuse the hell outta me! Hubby also had a blood draw for testosterone and estradiol levels, that are supposed to be faxed to my doc who will then fax them to the specialist, so I guess we will get those results at our consult as well. Can I also say that I am frustrated with the specialist already, we have to pay $150 up front and file all our own insurance claims...and I am sure our insurance will not cover...I am hoping that it is still considered diagnostic, since we have not actually been told what his diagnosis is, in that case they should pay....but now I am sure we will run into paperwork issues because we have to file ourselves...how ridiculous! Oh and of course I am sure like most couple TTC, that are having issues...money is a huge factor...we just never prepared for the possibility of infertility costs. I am keeping my fingers crossed that since I know what his number are form his analysis(just don't know what they mean) and that since there was not a zero for motility that means someof his swimmers are motile, which makes me think we have a chance(no matter how small) of getting pregnant regardless of his possible diagnosis. I am holding on to that thought...because it gives me hope! I am sure I will have a better understanding of both lab results once we meet with the specialist and go from there.