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Friday, September 24, 2010

Blahs

It has been what seems like forever since I have posted anything, but I have tried to keep up on reading. I have just been working alot and the last thing I wanna do is get on the computer when I get home.  I am a bad blogger : o (  This week has just been the worse, lots going on and I just feel really down in the dumps.   I keep having dreams of being pregnant....I hope this is some sort of a sign for what will come in the future! 
I have been at my part time job for almost a year now and for the most part it really is not a hard job at all, but I know it is taking it's toll on me. I realize that it is taking me away from my family and it is having an impact on ttc...I AM ALWAYS TIRED!!! For the most part my checks from this part time job are not figured in to our monthly income, although at times it has gone to pay bills if we are a little tight. I love having the extra money, it has come in handy, I am not sure if I can give it up..heehee On the other hand I want to be a mother more than anything and I think I am sacrificing this dream by being busy and tired and stressed all the time.  I would love to be able to tell my boss that I need to cut back on my hours, but I really am afraid that if my availability changed, he would let me go, because I would not be beneficial to him or the store....he could hire someone else that can work more.  Oh what to do?  I do have a ton of questions for my doc when I go in for my annual, perhaps that will help me decide what I should do! I am going to make a conscious effort to post more, I do know that it is very therapeutic for me when I do, even if it is random stuff! I hope all have a great weekend. I am looking forward to mine, spending it with my hubby, step-daughter and her friend....a great weekend off with my family. Hope to fill you in on Monday. TTFN.