One day at a time..or should I say one appointment.

I posted earlier about my HSG and that results came back normal, well we finally have the results from my hubby's analysis and it came back abnormal, due to motility. My doctor referred us to a specialist in Kettering and we have that appointment for next week. The specialist thinks after discussing with my doc that the motility issue may be due to Varicoseles, which is fixable..says my doc. I am trying to play out 50 scenarios in my head and what will be the best decision for our future of TTC...my hubby seems to be the more sensible one and does not want to make any decisions or get all worked up about what little information we have so far(we don't even know the break down of his analysis)until we meet with the specialist...did I mention fertility specialist...there it is, it's out there...that word that I hoped to avoid...I kept thinking and hoping that we were not pregnant because we were trying to hard, and that it just wasn't our time...yet, but it would eventually happen without all these appointments, procedures, and physicians. Of course I can not stay away from the Internet, trying to research anything and everything having to do with infertility, motility, varicoseles...you name it and I have probably been there, which may not be a good thing, because I think I am reading to much conflicting information which will just confuse the hell outta me! Hubby also had a blood draw for testosterone and estradiol levels, that are supposed to be faxed to my doc who will then fax them to the specialist, so I guess we will get those results at our consult as well. Can I also say that I am frustrated with the specialist already, we have to pay $150 up front and file all our own insurance claims...and I am sure our insurance will not cover...I am hoping that it is still considered diagnostic, since we have not actually been told what his diagnosis is, in that case they should pay....but now I am sure we will run into paperwork issues because we have to file ourselves...how ridiculous! Oh and of course I am sure like most couple TTC, that are having issues...money is a huge factor...we just never prepared for the possibility of infertility costs. I am keeping my fingers crossed that since I know what his number are form his analysis(just don't know what they mean) and that since there was not a zero for motility that means someof his swimmers are motile, which makes me think we have a chance(no matter how small) of getting pregnant regardless of his possible diagnosis. I am holding on to that thought...because it gives me hope! I am sure I will have a better understanding of both lab results once we meet with the specialist and go from there.

Doing the impossible...

I decided a few months ago that I wanted to have a surprise birthday party for my hubby's 40th. I was worried about how I would ever pull it off without him finding out, he always has a knack for figuring stuff out,so to surprise him is impossible, well almost! I started with the guest list and from there I started calling different places to see about renting for the night. I finally decided on a place that would not break the piggy bank. I bought the invites so I could work on them when he was not around but still get them mailed out a few weeks before the party. The party was planned one week before his actual birthday. His birthday is on July 4th so with the holiday I did not even want to plan it on the day of, plus I figured a week before would throw him off. My grandparetns 60th anniversary is JUly 2nd, so that was my ruse to get him to the surprise party. He thought we were going for a surprise party for my grandparents..PERFECT! I covered my tracks for the day of the party by telling him that my mom asked me to help make some food and get stuff together for the party...no problem. I went to the store got all the food stuff I needed, the sheet cookie and the rest of the decorations. All the stuff I had bought in previous weeks was hidden away in the trunk of my car...I just prayed that he woul dnot have to get into my trunk for anything. I met my mom at the party spot so we could rearrange tables, decorate and leave any food that we possibly could. We then headed to her house to get busy making stuff. I left there with enough time to go home, eat with the hubby and get ready for the party. We headed out and once in the parking lot, I called my mom, let it ring then hang up, so she knew we were in the parking lot and headed up. Right as we got to the top of the stairs, he hesitated and said this is not for your grandparents is it? I could not help but to let out the biggest grin I could, grabbed his hand and said let's go. Everyone yelled out surprise as we made our way through the entrance. He was so SURPRISED and I was relieved that I pulled it off. There were so many friends and family there, it was a wonderful night and he really enjoyed it and was thrilled that I did that for him.
Happy 40th my love!!! Of course we will be celebrating more the weekend of when we have his daughter and see the rest of his family.

Waiting...

So the dream did not prove to be a sign for me being pregnant, not sure what it meant?!?! I actually made a follow up appointment with my gyno, because the hubby and I have been TTC since April 2008 and no luck. I actually started the day of my appointment, so another cycle that I prayed would not happen, happened. She(my doc) suggested that I have a hysterosalpingogram(HSG) and my hubby have a semen analysis done. Once we get the results of those tests then we will proceed from there, if everything is normal then she said that she would go ahead with the referral to a specialist, because she is concerned about my age and pregnancy and does not want to waste time within her office when the end result would be referring me to a specialist anyway.

Just a little info on HSG and Semen Analysis: A HSG is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile).During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus.
A semen analysis measures the amount of semen a man produces and determines the number and quality of sperm in the semen sample. A semen analysis is usually one of the first tests done to help determine whether a man has a problem fathering a child (infertility). A problem with the semen or sperm affects more than one-third of the couples who are unable to have children (infertile).


So I had the procedure scheduled and performed on June 10...I must say that I was not at all prepared for the severity of the cramping and I think I jinxed myself by asking how long the procedure would take becuase needless to say my doc coudl not get the catheter where it need to be to inflate the balloon so she had to use some other instrument to manipulate my uterus(painful). My hubby went in with me and was so supportive, he tried so hard to take my mind off of what was going on and the pain that I was feeling. I think he even wooed the other ladies that were in there with us(the doc, xray tech, and the doc's student). Of course it seemed like I was laying on the table for eternity, of course hubby corrected me and said no it was only a few minutes...and then saved himself by adding, but it must have felt like forever to you having to go through that. I am such a wuss..I have never had any major surgery(does mole removal count? haha) or broken bones, so I have no idea what my pain tolerance is/will be. I did tell hhubby that if that was any indication of what childbirth will be like, then I want the drugs! (of course I know I will actaully weigh that decision better when I actaully am faced with that chance) So my doc said unofficially that everything looked good and the dye flowed through like it was suppose to, of course we will get the official report from the radiologist once he reads the xrays.
My hubby did his deed and stopped off at the lab to make a deposit for his semen analysis, so hopefully we get those results sometime next week...and pray that everything is ok with his swimmers and we can get back to TTC, hopefully with success here real soon.
I hope to have results so that I can update everyone in blog world. I also plan on posting some pics of our mini vacation to west virginia May 29-June 2..hopefully this weekend!

Dreaming of a lil' Dabe...

I awoke to my hubby calling Piper's name early this morning to go potty outside...and it jarred me from my dream that felt so real. I dreamt for the first time ever(or at least the first time that I remember dreaming about it)that I took a pregnancy test and I was looking at two lines!!! I was in some unfamiliar place waiting for my hubby to get back into town, he must have been away on business..who knows?!?! I kept running into people I knew but I could not say anything because I want to tell the papa to be first! Then I run into my BFF(Danielle)and of course I can not fool her, she knows that I am unusually happy or different some how, and she guesses that I am pregnant...I deny it, no way, me...nope we are still trying....I don't think I fooled her...but I will never no because that is when I woke up to ...Piper, Piper wanna go potty? It felt so real, I hope it is some SORT of sign of whats to come...I will forever wonder, if I was having a boy or a girl...no matter what it was sure to be a little Dabe! I found this little excerpt online(after checking several, I liked hers the best) that I wanted to share: One of the most common requests for dream interpretation I receive comes from women with dreams of pregnancy. Some are terrified that this is a dream of prophecy, some are hopeful of the same. So what does dreaming of pregnancy mean? Is it an omen of literal conception?

It is entirely possible to have dreams that are prophetic announcements of a literal pregnancy. The Biblical tale of the Annunciation as told by Luke is a great example of this. However, we don't all have to be giving birth to the Christ to discover we are pregnant via a dream. Hormones may kick in or the all-knowing unconscious may make us aware of what is going on in our bodies via a dream well before we see the evidence in waking life's blue line on a store bought strip.

As possible as a pregnancy prophecy may be, usually the meaning of these dreams is not found in a literal event. This should not however, lessen the impact or meaning of the dream as pregnancy dreams are extremely potent. They are telling us that something important is coming; something life-altering is forming in our being. When we think of pregnancy in symbolic terms the dream is much easier to decipher.

12° 58′ 0″ N, 77° 34′ 0″ E

...you ask what is this? Those are the coordinates of Bangalore, India. My husband has been informed that he will be traveling there for about 3 weeks for work. I was really freaked out at first, but I know that this is a huge opportunity for him and I support him 100%. He has traveled for work in the past but it has only been a few days, and I disliked being away from him then, what ever will I do without him for three weeks? I worry if we will be able to talk as often as we want and what is the time difference...I need to google that! We initially thought he would be gone over his birthday, and I was devastated...it will be his 40Th and I already bought his gift and was looking forward to giving it to him and trying to make his day really special...of course I can not tell him what I have been planning, I do not want to spoil the surprise just in case there is a change in plans...then today he calls and tells me they have his dates locked down and he has good news; he will not be leaving until the middle of July...Hooray! I am thrilled that even though it will suck with him gone for that long, I am so happy that we will get to celebrate his 40Th together!